I'M DONE - Fantastic Beasts embargo

I consider myself a patient man.
I believe in giving every movie a chance to impress me; even if I go in expecting to dislike it, oftentimes low expectations can lead to my enjoying the final product.
Even in some of the worst movies I’ve ever seen, I’ll try to highlight the positives.
I won’t review bomb something for the sake of my emotions,
and I promise to always judge each movie on its own merits.

But I have limits.

The Fantastic Beasts movies had a lot of promise; they were penned by JK Rowling, the author of the original Harry Potter novels that this series spins off from, and directed by David Yates, who brought the last four Harry Potter movies to the big screen.
It was set to be a darker look at this world through the eyes of adults while exploring the past of one of its main characters and his relationship with the villainous Grindlewald.

Instead, the final result is ugly to look at and infuriating to follow the plot.
Characters do stupid things and events happen purely because the story wants them to.
Events are disconnected from the plot and sometimes entirely pointless.
Despite having one writer, each movie will directly retcon things that happened in the previous movie.
Actions will be undone, dead characters resurrected and relationships shifted for the sake of whatever new story they want to tell.

It’s hard to escape the comparisons to the Star Wars Prequel trilogy; the returning pedigree of the previous movies set to take us back into the world we loved as kids but lost itself in bad storytelling, poor characterisation and needless pandering to fans of the original.
And yet those movies didn’t irritate me as much as Fantastic Beasts; they were bad, sure, but I liked my fair share of moments from them.
At least this series doesn’t have the racist aliens of the Phantom Menace, but they still have two movies left, so they could still introduce a Beast that looks like a golliwog or something.

But I won’t be there to see it.
I’m out.

I have only placed an embargo on two other series; the Disney live action movies and the Micheal Bay Transformers franchise.
On both occasions, I stayed with them for three movies but realised that I couldn’t enjoy them.
There is an anime community thing called the three-episode rule; you give a show three episodes to suck you in since the first two rarely set everything up properly. After three, you’ll know if this show is for you,
and that’s what I’m applying to these movies.

To be clear, this has nothing to do with anything behind the scenes; neither my disagreement with the politics of the writer nor my feelings towards the firing of Johnny Depp.
My opinions on these matters have no place in anything on this site, and quite frankly they are no business of anyone but myself.
My only concern is the product and said product sucks.

I am open to lifting it, however.
Transformers turned itself around with the highly entertaining Bumblebee movie, and it’s possible Fantastic Beasts will do the same.
But I have lost confidence,
and it will take a lot to win me back.
Critical praise or endorsement from critics I respect; I promise to remain hopeful, even if my expectations are low.

This is to both warn you away from these movies
and to close my own personal book on this franchise.
After I have said my peace, I don’t plan on watching or even thinking about the Fantastic Beasts movies, current or future.

Plans change of course,
but for now,

I’m done.